Intelligent Self-Interest (selfishness).  When we look at the meaning of the word “intelligent” when it was introduced into the English language, it simply meant “to understand.” 

When meeting with a new or prospective client for the first time for the first time, you always want to leave a good, lasting impression.  Here are some tips for making sure you start off on the right foot.  These may seem like common sense, but when you watch for these, you’ll notice how often people DON’T do these:

1.  Speak clearly and annunciate.  This isn’t just so they understand you better.  It is so you sound confident and knowledgable.  Mumbling and fidgeting through your words is a sign of nervousness and uncertainty.  Pay attention to how you speak.
2. Listen.  You may be excited to tell them all about you and what you’re offering them, but first, find out what they need.  Ask them questions about their current situation and company, take a moment to pause and think, and then respond.  Never interrupt.  Always let them finish and take that as a moment to observe them and find out what they are like.  You show that youcare about them, want to know more, and genuinely want to help them.
3. Did they understand your offer?  Make sure that whatever you are offering your client is clear and understandable in just a few sentences.  Some things may seem complex, but try to break it down enough so the client sees a clear benefit.  You want them drawn in early before you lose their attention, so make sure you aren’t losing them!
4. Follow up.  Make sure to let them know that you will be in contact with them.  Thank them for the chance to meet them and throw in a tidbit of knowledge or something extra to make them feel special, and to show that you are valuable.
5. Don’t be too salesy.  People hate a pushy sales guy, but they love a guy who can help them.  You aren’t there to sell your product/service, you are there to HELP them with your product/service.  It is all about what you can do for them, not you making a buck.  Going after them like a shark after its meal is a sure way of scaring them out of your ocean.

These seem like normal things you should always do, but surprisingly, I see people NOT doing these.  It is one thing to know these things, but another to practice them.  Be sure to really keep these in mind when meeting someone new.  These steps will help put you on the inside with them.

I was browsing the internet earlier today and came across a site with a nice list of free business eBook links. Check out Biz Ammo’s website for this useful list. It is always good to have plenty of resources to choose from. Even if some of your sources are on the exact same topic, having multiple opinions gives you better objectivity and knowledge expansion.

The Business Mastery Advisory Board, itself, is based on a book, Celebrating Success! Fourteen Ways to Create a Successful Company. The author, Ron Finklestein, also offers eBooks on his site, ronfinklestein.com at a low cost. Be sure to take a look at them when you are ready to get serious about your business.

Are you confused?

I was working with a member of my Business Mastery Advisory Board on some issues about her business and inconsistent attendance at her board meetings.

As we talked it became apparent to both of us that we did not know what success met to this individual.

Her conscious mind wanted more money. She associated having more money as a way of having to work less so she could spend more time with her daughter.

Her subconscious mind was telling her that the more you work the less time you will have to spend with your daughter.

So she would work really hard and build a book of business then drop out of sight for a while wondering how she got so busy. What we came to understand was that she had a hard time delegating because of some situations that occurred in her past so she felt she had to do everything herself.

As a result of this discussion we did two things that got her focused and clear: create a delegation process so she felt comfortable and helped her prioritize. Many people confuse delegation with abdication. Delegation is knowing the who, what, where, when, and why of the delegation process so there is no confusion. Abdication is delegation without follow through.

In helping her prioritize we helped her understand what she needed to work on and what could be delegated. Two months after this discussion we talked and her stress level has dropped, her work load has dropped but she has more business.

The big benefit to her in being involved in the Business Mastery Advisory Board is that she had someone to hold her accountable. Through this accountability process she has made major changes in her life and business.

To Your Continued Success,
Ron Finklestein
www.businessmasterynow.com
330-990-0788
ron@akris.net

Why & How to be an Expert in Your Field

Why be an expert? People what to know you, know what you are doing, and more importantly that you have their best interest in mind and can help them get what they want.

How to be an expert? Know your subject matter. Why? It develops your confidence. Confidence is one of the strongest selling skills in a sales person.

Understand it is not about you. You need to understand how your product or service helps others to achieve their goals?

Learn to communicate. Other must understand how your product or service will help them. 

Demonstrate your knowledge. Knowing what questions to ask is the best way to demonstrate your knowledge. The best question to ask is “why is that important to you?” 

Act with Integrity. Do what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. Be a person others can trust and depend on.

Make Money. Zig Ziglar said “to get what you want help others get what they want.”Find out what they want!

Created by Ron Finklestein
AKRIS INC / RPF GROUP
The Small Business Success Expert
330-990-0788
www.rpfgroupinc.com
www.yourbusinesscoach.net
ron@akris.net

The power of the Right Question.

I was recently in a meeting and we were discussing the importance of asking the right question.

Let me give you an example that came up. One gentleman posed this question.

“How does a chicken cross the road?”

As a group we came up with the answer: “Walk.”

Another gentleman posed the same question a little different way.

“In what ways can a chicken cross the road?”

Each individual had a different answer: “walk, skip, jump, drive, fly, hitch a ride, etc”

You get the point.

The “how” question looks for one answer and one answer only.

The “in what ways” question looks for a variety of answers, invites dialog and sparks creativity.

The “in what ways” questions opens the mind to think in terms of possibilities. The “how” question looks for an answer.

Next time ask yourself in what ways and see how your mind works.

Ron Finklestein
RPF GROUP INC
SALES@RPFGROUPINC.COM

Business owners, especially new business owners, make nine fundamental mistakes, especially in a market downturn, when growing their business. 

These nine common mistakes have been identified by interviewing hundreds of business owners: the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good ones do things right. The bad ones have never been taught to be business owners. It is something they learn as they go. These owners probably never planned to be a business owner but through circumstances, they find they are running their own business. Many never make the adjustment.

 The bad business owners just don’t care as long as they made money. They will leave a trail of bodies behind them. They typically are people you do not want to do business with long term. 

I took the best behaviors from the business owner I interviewed over the years and distilled them into nine specific behaviors. I compared them against my clients’ behaviors and the behaviors of other successful business people I met. I found them to be valid. I then introduced these behaviors in a coaching program that drives these specific behaviors.

When the economy gets bad, business owners lose all discipline and focus they had when they created a successful business. Instead of being more discipline they tend to go after everything. This is a problem because they dilute their already limited resources by trying to do too many things or being all things to all people.

The key to success lies in how well you create an “attitude of success.” My studies have shown that there are nine behaviors that all successful people exhibit, especially in an economic downturn. When these behaviors are implemented in the highest levels of an organization and are combined with the correct attitude, they cascade down through the organization. Successful business owners understand that the organization they manage takes on the attitude of the top person in the organization, and they strive to ensure that their behaviors reflect this. To be successful you must implement these nine behaviors.

   Become Selfishness – Get Clear on What is Important 

When I say successful companies are selfish, I am not referring to the childish behavior of everything is “mine, mine, mine.” I am referring to a mature selfishness that allows them to make decisions based on the outcomes they want to experience.

Being selfish asks, “How do I protect my time, energy, and money so I am only spending them on those things that will take me closer to my goals?” This kind of selfishness allows them to make sure their precious resources are only being spent on activities that benefit their company. But, until they can define the types of customers they want to attract and the problems they solve for them, it is very hard to be selfish. They must get clear and stay focused on their strengths. All decisions must be based on being selfish with your time, energy and money. You must ask yourself “what is the best return for the investment?”

Stay Focused on What is Important

It is very hard for a company to be focused if you don’t know where you are going. The dictionary defines focus as “close or narrow attention; concentration.” Without a clear perspective, you cannot focus on the desired outcome. It is too easy to become distracted, unorganized, and inconsistent. When you understand what it is you are to be selfish about, you generate a clear focus—a sense of purpose. There are two questions you must always ask yourself. “Is what I am doing taking me closer to my goal (selfishness)? If not, why am I doing it?”

Be Disciplined by Creating Corporate Habits that Work

Discipline is controlled behavior resulting from training and self-control. Your mind is made up. You have decided to achieve your marketing goals.

Being disciplined means you will not abandon your goals. Discipline has taught you that business life is not smooth and that there will be rough spots. Experience has taught you that by being disciplined, you can get through the tough spots. Your eye is on the target, and you have the discipline of a laser-guided missile; you seek out your objectives, and your focus never falters. Think of discipline as the creation of personal and corporate habits that you do over and over again, because they work.  

Persistence – Stay the Course

Webster’s Dictionary defines “persistence” as the continuance of an effect after the cause is removed. Once you take the time to create a marketing strategy and implement a marketing plan, your goals will be clear. And when you are focused, disciplined, and selfish, your persistence allows you to see any unplanned obstacles not as problems, but as opportunities. After all, if it was easy, anyone could accomplish what you are accomplishing. But not everyone is on the field of battle with you. They see obstacles and stop. You see obstacles and see opportunities.
You keep your eyes clearly fixed on your objectives; you try different things to overcome these obstacles. You know where you are going; you know you can’t be stopped. You know that your persistence is what drives you forward. You will find a way around any obstacle, and keep right on going.

 Ownership – It You Don’t Own It, You Can Not Change it

Ownership is the state of being an owner. It is taking the legal right to the possession of a thing. Not only tangible things, but also your dreams, your goals, your business, and your life; if you do not take ownership for achieving your dreams, who will? You cannot blame the market or the economy for your problems. You must take ownership or you cannot take action to address the problem. Taking ownership is about change—making the change necessary to move forward, changing behaviors that are not working, and dealing with the world as it is and not as you want it to be.

You own the outcome because you are clear about where you want to go, and you take ownership for it. With ownership, you know that if you are not getting your desired results, you can take action and change the outcome. Ownership is so very empowering. You know that if you do not have the skills, you can learn or hire someone to teach you. 

Measure Everything - Orientation toward Results

Results mean ending in a particular way. Once you define your goals—the outcomes you want to achieve­—and how you want things to end, you can take ownership to create your desired outcomes. You can create the results. It is now a matter of implementing the behaviors that will drive those results.

When you don’t get the results you want, you fall back on persistence, ownership, focus, and discipline, and know that you have the skills, the drive, the desire, the knowledge, and the road map that will take you where you want to go. Results are simply a way of measuring your success. You either get the job done, or you don’t. If you don’t, because of your ownership, you go back and try something different. No excuses. No remorse. Only results. You understand that there is no trying; only doing.

Success is Dependent on Your People Effectiveness

All successful people understand that their success comes with, and through, other people. Successful people recognize these individuals and appreciate them for their contribution to the results. Understand who your best customers are and treat them like gods. Determine who will help you (employees, referral partners, business associates, etc), why they will help you and how you can help them. 

Only the Right Ideas- Not All Idea are Created Equal

Most people have an abundance of ideas and this is the problem. Once they get selfish by focusing on one specific goal, they can generate ideas that allow them to implement their intelligent self-interest. This will move them to new level, both personally and professionally. If they are not clear, the abundance of ideas will just get further off track. Getting selfish is very important here. It is also important to understand that ideas typically come from others.

Defining Success as Taking Action

Success, in the original sense of the word, simply means to take action. When in doubt, do something - anything. Successful people understand that they can always correct something that is not working. They also understand they cannot correct an action that is not taken.Do not be confused by the outcome of success: new car, new house, more time off, money etc. These are outcomes of success. They are not success. Success, simply defined, is taking action. When you take action you can achieve the outcomes of success.

Many time people have a great idea. They believe their idea will lead them to success but they have no idea how to move forward. Or, they have so many ideas that they cannot make up their mind. Successful people know they need people to help them implement their ideas.  

11 Actions you can take During Tough Economic Times

1. Create a Strategy. The first action you must take is to create a marketing plan. You must get clear on who is your best customers, where to find them, what problems you solve and why they should buy from you. This does not require a long document but clarity in thinking. All eleven actions are documented in 49 Marketing Secrets (THAT WORK) to Grow Sales. The book is available on Amazon.com. 

2. Be Consistent. You must be consistent in your message and brand throughout all your marketing activities. Otherwise potential customer can get very confused. Most people do not lose an opportunity to the competition; they lose the opportunity to complacency of the prospect. When the prospect gets confused they do nothing. Be consistent in your message.  

3. Use Press Releases. Let the world know what you are up to. Use press releases to target specific locations. Write the press release with a unique angle that makes it easy for reporters and other readers to read your message. There is the possibility for a huge return for minimal investment.

4. Create Controversy. Take you message, your story and build some controversy so it is interesting to others. Take something that everyone is talking (newspapers, magazines, industry blogs, etc) about and incorporate that into your message.  

5. Write Articles. Writing articles is one of the easiest and least expensive ways to get your name out and increase visibility. There are hundreds of sites looking for articles. The key is to write about what your prospects what to hear about, provide value and have a clear call to action. 

6. Networking for Referrals. The quickest and fastest way to get new business is to ask for it; especially from your existing customers. They know your products and services so pick up the phone, take them out to lunch and ask them if they know anyone who they would introduce you to who could use your products or services.  

7. Create Your Business Mastery Advisory Board. Create your own advisory board. Many business owners think they can go it alone. You can’t and the sooner you realize this the faster you can the result you want. It is all about people. If you do not test your message with your peers and see what works, you are wasting, time, energy and money. 

8. Generation Leads. Use Teleseminars and Webinars as a marketing tool so people can find out what you are about. These can be free or paid. The key is to provide value so people listening want to engage you. The beauty of this approach is people who are interested in what you are promoting naturally opt-in to listen to your story. 

9. Use Electronic Newsletters. Electronic newsletters are a great way to stay in touch with your audience. They opt-in so you know they are interested. Having someone buy your products and services is as much need as it is timing. Your name (product) needs to be top of mind when they need something. A newsletter can do that for you. 

10.  Speaking Before Groups. Public speaking is one of the best approaches to generating new business. You need to be professional and provide value but where are you going to get an opportunity to have 100 people pay to listen to you talk about what is important to you and how it can help them. If you are afraid of speaking, get trained. There are many different organizations to help you.

11. Create an Event.  Create and event and make it a party. People are social animals who love to be involved and find deals. You can do a grand opening, grand reopening, anniversary sale, holiday sales or any one of 100 reasons to have a party and invite people into your business. 

What to do next to Grow your Business

I had a consulting company hire me to help them grow their business. All I did was bring them back to what they did successful to grow their business. Effectively, they got selfish. This resulted in a 35% year over year growth rate.

I worked with a patent agent and he had a 150% return on his investment. We got him focused on who his idea customer is. By simply getting clear and targeting his ideal client, he had his best month ever. I worked with an Information Technology company and we reduce his time to make for a specific product by 800%.
I worked with a telephony company and took a service they provided to their existing customer at no charge and help them turn this into a product they use to expand their market.

It is all about getting clear: your market, your customers, your product, your services and taking action. If you are thinking about taking action you are already too late. It is not about thinking, it is about doing. If you don’t know how, hire someone, read a book, call someone who will share with you his experiences. Take ownership for your situation and take action to move forward.    
Ronald Finklestein, President of AKRIS, INC, is a small business success expert, business coach, consultant, speaker, author, and trainer, and has published three books, 49 Marketing Secrets (THAT WORK) to Grow Sales, Celebrating Success! Fourteen Ways to a Successful Company and The Platinum Rule to Small Business Mastery. Ron’s client have increase sales 35% year over year, experienced 150% return on investment, opened new markets and created new products that have transformed companies. Finklestein is available for coaching and consulting, speaking engagements, workshops, and seminars. You can contact him at ron@ronfinklestein.com or (330) 990-0788. Sign up for his newsletter at http://www.businessmasterynow.com. All the books mentioned above are available on www.amazon.com.

“It is not the strongest of species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin 

“Your success and my success are totally dependent on how well we communicate, influence, motivate, lead, counsel, mentor, sell and persuade those we deal with on a daily basis.” Ron Finklestein 

When you read the section below, you will learn how to build trust faster, create better relationship easier and take the stress out of your relationships. How do I know? I did that using the information below. When I teamed up with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Scott Zimmerman to write The Platinum RuleÒ for Small Business Mastery, I was trying to communicate that your success and my success are very much dependent on how well you communicate, influence, motivate, lead, counsel, sell and persuade those you deal with on a daily basis. The Platinum Rule for Small Business Mastery takes 12 areas of business and discusses how to apply The Platinum RuleÒ for more and faster success.  It is the foundation for my entire coaching and consulting program. Because it is so important I wanted to give you an overview.

As I work with people who experience success, I realized that these individuals are the ones that seem to understand the importance of others and the role they play in their lives. The others I am referring to are the employees who work for us, customers who buy from us, family who inspire and depend on us for their physical, emotional and psychological needs and the friends who enjoy our company.

A few years ago, I was teaching a class on The Platinum Rule. At the end of the class, one of the participants came up to me and asked my “why don’t they teach me this in high school?” I could not answer that question then, but I think I know the answer now. I think, because we are a part of the human race, people expect us to acquire this skill from our parents, interaction with our peers and from others we deal with regularly. I am not sure that is a valid assumption, especially if the people teaching us may not have acquired the necessary skills.

It is not my intents to go into details about The Platinum Rule here but I want to give you a brief overview.  The Platinum RuleÒ will allow you to:  lower interpersonal tension and increase trust, know your own behavioral tendencies, recognize the behavioral style of others, and adapt your style for success.

Introducing the Platinum Rule - A Modern Model for Personal Chemistry!
by Dr. Tony Alessandra

 
Has the Golden Rule lost its glitter?  Absolutely not!  The Golden Rule has as much “glitter” as ever.  I believe and practice it 110%, especially when it comes to values, ethics, honesty and consideration.  However, when it comes to interpersonal communication, it can very well backfire.  The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Basically translated, that says to treat others the way you would like to be treated, which of course isn’t always the case.   

An addition to the Golden Rule is The Platinum Rule:  “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” The focus of the relationship shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want, and then I’ll give it to them.”

The goal of The Platinum Rule is personal chemistry and productive relationships.  You don’t have to change your personality.  You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them.  The Platinum Rule divides behavioral preferences into four behavioral styles:  Director, Socializers, Relater, and Thinker.  Everyone possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees and everyone has a dominant style.  The key to using The Platinum Rule is to understand a person’s dominant personality style and treat him/her appropriately.

Here is a very basic breakdown of the behavior styles defined by The Platinum Rule: 

Directors are driven by two governing needs:  to control and achieve.  They are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations.

Socializers are friendly, enthusiastic and like to be where the action is.  They thrive on admiration, acknowledgment, and compliments.  They are idea-people who excel at getting others excited about their vision.

Thinkers are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy problem solving.  They are detail-oriented, which makes them more concerned with content than style.  Thinkers are task-oriented people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results.

Relaters are warm and nurturing individuals.  They are the most people-oriented of the four styles.  Relaters are excellent listeners, devoted friends, and loyal employees.  They are good planners, persistent workers, and good with follow-through.

The Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that will serve you well in all your relationships:  business, friends, family, spouse, and children. 

I want to discuss what I know understand by learning and applying The Platinum Rule and why I think The Platinum Rule is so important.  When I first encountered The Platinum Rule, I would listen to the program regularly, usually yearly for several years.

I teach The Platinum Rule from two perspectives: dealing with difficult people and creating better relationships. Dealing with difficult people discusses how to identify and respond to difficult people. When I teach this material (dealing with difficult people), I spend a lot of time on personal beliefs. Many times I find the attendees expect others to know what they are thinking. Early on in the class I tell people I am not a mind reader. So I ask many questions to get clarity when necessary.  When I teach creating better relationships, I focus on what works and how to do more of the same.

I tell the story about my wife. One time she was upset with me and I assumed she was asking for some help. I made what I thought were some good suggestions. She stopped right in the middle of our discussion and said “all I want you to do is listen.” I realized I was treating her how I would expect to be treated in that situation. That was an incorrect assumption. For the longest time, when we talked, I would ask my wife what she wanted. “Do you want me to listen or do you want help?” This eliminates many disagreements in our house. Now, my wife starts the discussion with “can you just listen?” or “would you help me?” Either way I know what is expected of me and this allows me to treat my wife the way she wants to be treated.

When I tell this story in my workshops, many of the ladies get upset with me. They assume I should know what to do without asking. The gentlemen in my class really like the idea of asking that question. I tell everyone that I am not a mind reader and without questions I cannot understand the situation. I ask for their patience and by the time the workshop is over they understand better the value of the question. 

One of the things that I find in these classes is that people are afraid to ask questions. We are taught not to pry or ask why. We don’t want to look stupid. As a child, how many times did you hear “because I said so?” I was taught as child not to ask for anything because the answer would be no. This was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I learned to be self-sufficient; a curse because it would have been so much easier if I told people what I wanted instead of assuming “no” would be the answer. It took me years to understand that people appreciate being asked questions, provided they are asked in the correct manner.

So How Do I Use This Information?

Most everything we do we do with others. Since I became proficient at using The Platinum Rule, my relationship with my wife has never been better. I have one child that is a Thinker and one that is a Socializer. I have learned to meet them where that are and treat them as they want to be treated. This has resulted in great relationships with my wife and both my children.

I use The Platinum Rule in sales and I have learned to identify clients that I enjoy working with; clients who value me and the services I provide. I created a Business Mastery Advisory Board for business owners and we get great results. This happens because I treat the members the way they want to be treated.

I use it when I am coaching and counseling employees and customers. I use it when I write marketing copy. I use it with my family, friends and associates. 

I had a client, a small company of 10 people, where everyone walked out of the company at the same time. I was called and asked to see what I could do to get the company back on track. I met with the business owner and his daughter, all of the employees and some of the vendors. The owner was working at the business part times. He was trying to retire. He had his daughter running the day to day operations of the business. The owner and the daughter were fighting in front of the employees and a son was waiting in the wings to take over the business when it failed. 

The answer to the problem was simple but hard to implement. Each employee stayed because they really cared for the owner. He was fair, a people person and he listened when someone wanted his time. The daughter on the other hand, was handed the business and she did not understand it. She made decisions that were in her best interest and created rules to make her life easier; not the employees or customers. The father was a Director with a strong understanding of people and their needs. The daughter was an extreme Socializer who disliked routine and boredom. The rest of the team was Relaters who cared deeply for the father and the business.

Once we took them through the interview process, training and resolution process, they better understood the impact their behavior was having on each other, some organizational changes were made to better define the day to day procedures, an employee handbook was created to clarify company policy and the hard work began. Though it was not easy, the company started creating a way each employee could address problems in the organization in a way that was positively received by other. When I left the organization, people enjoyed their work again, the new policy manual help create harmony because everyone now understood the rules and the owner was clear on his exit strategy. 

The Platinum Rule is easy to learn and use. The tough part is being persistent enough to use it until it becomes second nature to you. Ask yourself how your life would be different if you knew how to build better and more effective relationships? Would your relationship with your wife or children improve? Could you increase sales and make more money? Could you spend less time addressing people issues because they understand you the first time?

Ron Finklestein

330-990-0788

ron@ronfinklestein.com

I received this quote from a friend after a particularly difficult time. He frames it and presented it to me because he admired what I was accomplishing and the work and effort it required.

I hang it on my wall as a reminder that persistence is required. It is titled The Man In The Arena by President Theodore Roosevelt. Thanks Chris. Here it is.

“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled; or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at his best, knows the end of triumph of high achievement; and who knows the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”
 
When I first started writing about different ideas and concepts, especially those documented in this book, I received all kinds of comments. Some of the comments were less than flattering; others we more supportive. It took me a long time to understand that I could let others control what I did (or did not do) if I took their negative comments and criticisms to heart or I could continue forward.

Just to be clear, I am not talking about people who offered constructive criticism, or made suggestions to improve the work. I am talking about the people who were angry and vocal that I would choose to write something they disagreed with. How I stole their dreams, and did not care about them. These types of anonymous notes and emails were, at first, discouraging.

 Then I heard a comment by Dan Kennedy that made sense. I am paraphrasing here. “Whatever you say will make someone angry. It doesn’t matter. Leave them alone and write for the people who want to hear what you have to say.”

I really subscribe to this quote from Calvin Coolidge.  
“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

Be persistent. If you do not believe in your dreams who will.

Thoughts? Comments?

“Your success and my success are totally dependent on how well we communicate, influence, motivate, lead, counsel, mentor, sell and persuade those we deal with on a daily basis.” Ron Finklestein

When you read the section below, you will learn how to build trust faster, create better relationship easier and take the stress out of your relationships. How do I know? I did that using the information below. When I teamed up with Dr. Tony Alessandra and Scott Zimmerman to write The Platinum Rule? for Small Business Mastery, I was trying to communicate that your success and my success are very much dependent on how well you communicate, influence, motivate, lead, counsel, sell and persuade those you deal with on a daily basis. The Platinum Rule for Small Business Mastery takes 12 areas of business and discusses how to apply The Platinum Rule? for more and faster success.  It is the foundation for my entire coaching and consulting program. Because it is so important I wanted to give you an overview.
  
As I work with people who experience success, I realized that these individuals are the ones that seem to understand the importance of others and the role they play in their lives. The others I am referring to are the employees who work for us, customers who buy from us, family who inspire and depend on us for their physical, emotional and psychological needs and the friends who enjoy our company.

A few years ago, I was teaching a class on The Platinum Rule. At the end of the class, one of the participants came up to me and asked my “why don’t they teach me this in high school?” I could not answer that question then, but I think I know the answer now. I think, because we are a part of the human race, people expect us to acquire this skill from our parents, interaction with our peers and from others we deal with regularly. I am not sure that is a valid assumption, especially if the people teaching us may not have acquired the necessary skills.
 
It is not my intents to go into details about The Platinum Rule here but I want to give you a brief overview. There are almost twenty books written about The Platinum Rule. You have The Platinum Rule for Small Business Mastery, The Platinum Rule for Trade Shows Mastery, The Platinum Rule for Sales Mastery, etc. To see a complete list Platinum Rule products go to www.alessandra.com.

The Platinum Rule® will allow you to:  lower interpersonal tension and increase trust, know your own behavioral tendencies, recognize the behavioral style of others, and adapt your style for success.
I asked Dr. Tony Alessandra to provide an overview of how you might treat others how they want to be treated.  Here is what he had to say: 

Introducing the Platinum Rule - A Modern Model for Personal Chemistry!

Has the Golden Rule lost its glitter?  Absolutely not!  The Golden Rule has as much “glitter” as ever.  I believe and practice it 110%, especially when it comes to values, ethics, honesty and consideration.  However, when it comes to interpersonal communication, it can very well backfire.  The Golden Rule states, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Basically translated, that says to treat others the way you would like to be treated, which of course isn’t always the case. 

An addition to the Golden Rule is The Platinum Rule:  “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” The focus of the relationship shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want, and then I’ll give it to them.”

The goal of The Platinum Rule is personal chemistry and productive relationships.  You don’t have to change your personality.  You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them.  The Platinum Rule divides behavioral preferences into four behavioral styles:  Director, Socializer, Relater, and Thinker.  Everyone possesses the qualities of each style to various degrees and everyone has a dominant style.  The key to using The Platinum Rule is to understand a person’s dominant personality style and treat him/her appropriately.

Here is a very basic breakdown of the behavior styles defined by The Platinum Rule: 
Directors are driven by two governing needs:  to control and achieve.  They are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations.
 
Socializers are friendly, enthusiastic and like to be where the action is.  They thrive on admiration, acknowledgment, and compliments.  They are idea-people who excel at getting others excited about their vision.
 
Thinkers are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy problem solving.  They are detail-oriented, which makes them more concerned with content than style.  Thinkers are task-oriented people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results.
 
Relaters are warm and nurturing individuals.  They are the most people-oriented of the four styles.  Relaters are excellent listeners, devoted friends, and loyal employees.  They are good planners, persistent workers, and good with follow-through.

The Platinum Rule provides powerful life-skills that will serve you well in all your relationships:  business, friends, family, spouse, and children. 

I want to discuss what I know understand by learning and applying The Platinum Rule and why I think The Platinum Rule is so important.  When I first encountered The Platinum Rule, I would listen to the program regularly, usually yearly for several years. I did this because Tony is an engaging speaker and the material was new and fresh. But I was not ready to really hear its message at that time.

I reached a point in my life where my relationships were not working. I was laid off from a job. I was no longer connecting with my wife, and my children. Suffice it to say things were not going well and I needed some help. About that time, I found Relationship Strategies on the shelf in my bookcase and decided to listen to it yet again. I finally reached the point where I started to understand it and could apply it. After listening yet again, I could finally see why I was having problems in my relationship, both at work and at home; I treated everyone as I wanted to be treated.

I had a strong need to be rights and had little tolerance for others if they could not substantiate their thinking. I was not concerned with feelings, it was all about results. The real problem was my standards were so high that I cannot always live up to them, and yet I expected others to.

When I finally understood and implemented The Platinum Rule strange things started to happen: over time, I had less and less stress in my relationships. I began to understand others and their behaviors. I understood that others did what they did to take care of themselves. I stopped personalizing others behaviors and saw it for what it is. This is not to say I do not have problems in my relationships. At times I do. I now understand why people do what they do and how to handle the individual situations I encounter.

I teach The Platinum Rule from two perspectives: dealing with difficult people and creating better relationships. Dealing with difficult people discusses how to identify and respond to difficult people. When I teach this material (dealing with difficult people), I spend a lot of time on personal beliefs. Many times I find the attendees expect others to know what they are thinking. Early on in the class I tell people I am not a mind reader. So I ask many questions to get clarity when necessary.  When I teach creating better relationships, I focus on what works and how to do more of the same.

I tell the story about my wife. One time she was upset with me and I assumed she was asking for some help. I made what I thought were some good suggestions. She stopped right in the middle of our discussion and said “all I want you to do is listen.” I realized I was treating her how I would expect to be treated in that situation. That was an incorrect assumption. For the longest time, when we talked, I would ask my wife what she wanted. “Do you want me to listen or do you want help?” This eliminates many disagreements in our house. Now, my wife starts the discussion with “can you just listen?” or “would you help me?” Either way I know what is expected of me and this allows me to treat my wife the way she wants to be treated.

When I tell this story in my workshops, many of the ladies get upset with me. They assume I should know what to do without asking. The gentlemen in my class really like the idea of asking that question. I tell everyone that I am not a mind reader and without questions I cannot understand the situation. I ask for their patience and by the time the workshop is over they understand better the value of the question. 

One of the things that I find in these classes is that people are afraid to ask questions. We are taught not to pry or ask why. We don’t want to look stupid. As a child, how many times did you hear “because I said so?” I was taught as child not to ask for anything because the answer would be no. This was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I learned to be self-sufficient; a curse because it would have been so much easier if I told people what I wanted instead of assuming no would be the answer. It took me years to understand that people appreciate being asked questions, provided they are asked in the correct manner.
 
So How Do I Use This Information?

Most everything we do we do with others. Since I became proficient at using The Platinum Rule, my relationship with my wife has never been better. I have one child that is a Thinker and one that is a Socializer. I have learned to meet them where that are and treat them as they want to be treated. This has resulted in great relationships with my wife and both my children.

I use The Platinum Rule is sales and I have learned to identify clients that I enjoy working with. Clients who value me and the services I provide. I created a Business Mastery Advisory Board for business owners and we get great results. This happens because I treat the members the way they want to be treated.
  
I use it when I am coaching and counseling employees and customers. I use it when I write marketing copy. I use it with my family, friends and associates. 

I had a client, a small company of 10 people, where everyone walked out of the company at the same time. I was called and asked to see what I could do to get the company back on track. I met with the business owner and his daughter, all of the employees and some of the vendors. The owner was working at the business part times. He was trying to retire. He had his daughter running the day to day operations of the business. The owner and the daughter were fighting in front of the employees and a son was waiting in the wings to take over the business when it failed. 

The answer to the problem was simple but hard to implement. Each employee stayed because they really cared for the owner. He was fair, a people person and he listened when someone wanted his time. The daughter on the other hand, was handed the business and she did not understand it. She made decisions that were in her best interest and created rules to make her life easier; not the employees or customers. The father was a Director with a strong understanding of people and their needs. The daughter was an extreme Socializer who disliked routine and boredom. The rest of the team was Relaters who cared deeply for the father and the business.

Once we took them through the interview process, training and resolution process, they better understood the impact their behavior was having on each other, some organizational changes were made to better define the day to day procedures, an employee handbook was created to clarify company policy and the hard work began. Though it was not easy, the company started creating a way each employee could address problems in the organization in a way that was positively received by other. When I left the organization, people enjoyed their work again, the new policy manual help create harmony because everyone now understood the rules and the owner was clear on his exit strategy. 

The Platinum Rule is easy to learn and use. The tough part is being persistent enough to use it until it becomes second nature to you. Ask yourself how your life would be different if you knew how to build better and more effective relationships? Would your relationship with your wife or children improve? Could you increase sales and make more money? Could you spend less time addressing people issues because they understand you the first time?

Email me if you want to learn more about The Platinum Rule (ron@akris.net) or leave a comment on your experience in working with others.